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Take it slow... [12 Sep 2007|07:56am]
[ mood | cold ]

I am blessed.

I have been given more opportunities then most could ever hope for and for that i am thankful.

I have class in 15 minutes, class that i've yet to purchase the book for :/

My pants fit today it makes me feel better.

I have to find a job by the end of the week, or else.

My checking account could not have a lower balance without nearing negative.

I'll get by! :]

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To wake from a dream... [10 Sep 2007|09:59am]
[ mood | guilty ]

Mediocrity is not something i am willing to settle for. It beckons, but i can't bring myself to give in. To give up my dreams, would be giving up myself. They are all i have left. Dreams of a better tomorrow, dreams that only last momentarily then flutter into the distance. My hands tremor as i type this. How can i face the truth when the truth will surely destroy me. For the past twenty-one years i've been asleep, but how can i bring myself to wake when reality is hell.

The Fair is in town... i think this might be the first year i don't go.

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[12 Jul 2007|10:01am]
[ mood | content ]

So i'm still in the process of moving into my Grandpa's house. It's so lonely out there... I've kinda been avoiding it. But it'll work out! I'm still looking for a job, i'm thinking i'm going to go apply at the Galleria.

I have a date with Bean tonight. I bet here that she couldn't eat two double-doubles, fries and a soda. I lost and know i owe her a dinner at the Brazilian Steakhouse. lol. So that should be fun.

Until then i guessss, i'll be seeing you!

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07/07/07 [07 Jul 2007|04:47pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Supposedly today is supposed to be super lucky. It only happens once in every 100 years...

Either way, i figured it would be nice to post on LJ.

For those of you that didn't know i've officially left Brooks and am transeferring to Trade Tech in LA and i'm moving into my grandpa's house in La Crescenta on Monday. (right near Glendale). I'm still going to be finishing my degree in Fashion Design and i even get to declare a concentration in costuming! :)

Life likes to throw me curve balls but i think this time i saw it coming and i've adjusted decently.

I miss my Bean. I think my friendship with her is the best thing i've acheived at Brooks, that and finally gaining some credits slol. :) I'm picking her up from the airport at 9:55 on Monday.

Actually come to think of it i have A LOT to do on Monday!! I have an interview at 11 then i'm moving into my Grandpa's around 1, then i get to pick up Bean in Long Beach at 9!

I hope everyone is having an AMAZING summer and i can't wait to see you guys!!!

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10 DAYS!!! [21 May 2007|11:01am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Only ten days until my fashion show!! :)

I'm so nervous you guys! I'm hoping my designs at least like semi-okay out there.

I'm only showing 5 pieces but it's still kind of a big deal. I have all this images and ideas in my head but if i can't create them in reality then i'm screwed. So cross your fingers for me.

Oh and if you wanna comeee let me know tickets are on sale.

Thursday May 31st @ 8PM in the Brooks College Cafe
Tickets $5 *All proceeds go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation!!

Okay now im going to go eat! :)

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Booo for work. [12 Apr 2007|10:51am]
[ mood | amused ]

So after i went to dinner last night, where i didn't run into Matthew, Sarah and I took some videos we rented back to the video rental store. It was fun, i love that girl, she's sooo out there lol. Anyways on our way back Sarah called Kelly and we decided to go to Ikea!!! :)

So we get there and Kelly tells us she invited Matthew, which is fine by me, except I think Kelly wants to jump his bones and i don't think he's even slightly interested in her. So after running up stairs to change and fix my hurr. The four of us head to Ikea. I hadn't been in sooooo long. It was FANTASTIC! Matthew, Sarah and I playyed OFFICE!! slollll! It was fun. I started it of course and then Matthew and Sarah just kinda chimed in. They're amazing they would fit in our group soooo well. Afterwards we had hot dogs and ice cream and sat around laughing. Good Times. Matthew and Sarah came over for a little while, Kelly had to work. We watched "Mrs Henderson Presents" and then parted ways. All in all a good day!

Oh ya, on the way home from Ikea we got into a heated discussion on the word "dude" slol. I don't know how many of you know this but i HATE being called dude. It's my biggest Pet Peeve. I dunno why it just bothers me. Kelly was like that's odd why don't you like being called dude? So i had to explain that i find it demeaning. I'm a pretty well spoken, educated man and i find that the word "dude" represents a slacker guy, who surfs all day and smokes reefer you know. She didn't get that I just don't like it. I wasn't asking her not to call ANYONE that just not me. Is that hard to understand to anyone else or is it just her?

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Nothing much... [28 Mar 2007|11:28am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Not much going on in my life but i felt like updating. I started on my five piece collection today! Well i started on actual construction of my patterns today. I've had them in my mind for awhile, and on paper. I just needed to actually break out the scissors and the manilla paper! Next week i'll work on the all the sewing and hemming and what not. Ummm... thats about it. I have to run to JoAnns to pic up some gold thread and hopefully some more fabric. Tigerheat thursday!! Is it odd that i'm nervous?? Haha.

Until my next entry...

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fkshfklfhjffholasjfasfpo!!!! *&*&@*&*U*U@*JN@YE!! [22 Mar 2007|09:35pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Ugh! Soooo... i've been working at Longs since the 2nd and i still haven't gotten my first paycheck! I know what the hell was i thinking! But i talked to like three different people and they're like no that's normal, most jobs hold your first paycheck. but it's been twenty days and i was beginning to get frustrated. So i went to Bill and he's like what? You haven't been getting paychecks? And im just like GAH! I should have trusted my instincts i knew that couldn't be right. So it turns out im not even on freaking payroll. Which probably explains why the time clock hasn't been letting me clock in without a manager's code. Thank god i have like documented proof of all my hours. So Bill is supposed to take care of it tomorrow. But who knows how long it will take them to get me my first pay check! I probably won't start getting payed until next week. That's like an entire month without getting paid :( grrrrr....

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23 [10 Mar 2007|11:23am]
My Birthdate: 8/16/1986 8+16-1=23 9+8+6=23
My Dorm Number: 826 8/2=4 46/2=23
My Exit off the 210: 46 46/2=23
My Student ID Number: 08305421 8+3+5+4+2+1=23
My Name: JOHN=4 Letters PAYTON=6 Letters 46/2 because i'm the 2nd=23
My Social:556973884 5+5+6+9+7=32 3+8+8+4=23
My Phone Number: 5[23]-4592

I'll update with more by the end of the day...trust me....
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You take the bad with the good... [05 Mar 2007|05:00pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Terrible weekend.

Friday night i got off work and i had a voicemail from my dad. He wanted me to call him back he had bad news. So i called him. The cops had busted him. They raided his apartment, his storage, and my grandma's house. They took him and my sister's mom to jail. My sister was left alone. That night they dropped the charges on my sisters mom and she was released. My dad was released on bail friday morning. My sister was emotionally fucked, my grandma distraught and i was caught off guard.

Just when things were going good, i get hit with this. But i'm strong, not naturally, out of pure necessity. I'm sorry i didn't get to see any of you this weekend like i had planned. I feel like i drift further from you guys each day, but i guess that it just happens sometimes. I miss you all.

Anyways, my dad went to court today. He was looking at 28 years. He was miraculously only sentenced to 2 years and 2 months. Still long enough to fuck things up but at least he'll be out sooner than my Over The Hill Party.

Than god for Kelly, although i'm just really starting to get to know her it's nice to have someone there during bad times.

Well i'm off to dinnnnerr.

^_^ John

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Nahhhhh [26 Feb 2007|10:59am]
[ mood | content ]

I'm hoping Marijuana doesn't stay in your system for more that a month... i can't imagine it could...

I took my drug test for Longs the other day and that would suck if it came back positive haha.
Oh well not much i can do now :/

*** I just looked up the answer to my question... turns out Marijuana can be detected from a urine sample up to a month from use, lol. Just my luck. I smoked 27 days before my test. Hahahahaha wow. We'll see.

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Soooooo.... [21 Feb 2007|07:55pm]
Maybe i'll let him indulge himself with my company after alll..... maybe
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I dunno... [16 Feb 2007|10:14am]
[ mood | bored ]

Sometimes i wonder if everything i tell myself is a lie.
Is my happiness really a facade?
I really don't know.
When i look at my life i feel like i should be unhappy, depressed even.
But i'm not, im happy and it feels wrong.
Maybe because i've been sooo unhappy for stupid things.
But now that i've reached the bottom and have begun to claw my way back out of this pit of shame i'm happy?
Why do i feel wrong being happy?
It's odd.
I'm getting fatter.
I'm single.
I'm unemployed.
I'm in debt.
But i'm happy...
Anywhoo, i guess i shouldn't question it.
I'll just ride this one out.

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Doo Doo Run...FUCCCCKKK (Taken from Tee) [12 Feb 2007|08:45pm]
1. Have you ever been drunk?
Never! okay maybe a few timess...

2. How old were you the first time you got drunk?
Drunk drunk or just drunk....im gonna go withhhh around 18 give or take two years...

3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated?
yes, *shameeee*

4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'?
YESSS!! *shameee*

5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members?
YESSS!!! But only my sisters.

6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk?
Yes, but not very often.

7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol-related crime?
Nope!! :)

8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk?
Not that i know of.

9. Ever forgot their name?
Who's name?

10. When was the last time you were drunk?
Last Week, Wednesday to be exact.

11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge?

12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time?
Depending on the crowd, if everyone else is drunk then i cant have a good time with them unless im drunk. I feel responsible and stupid shit. But for the most part no!

13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated?
Any alcohol gets me intoxicated! Just keep me away from the RUM!! Pleeeease!

14. Favorite liquor:

15. Favorite beer?
Not a big fan butttt i'll drink Corona.

16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk?
Ewwwww yes

17. Have you ever swam drunk?
Ya fucking right, dont think sooooo.

18. What kind of a drunk are you?
obnoxious, loud, defensive.

19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you?
Everyone already knowwwws EVERYTHING about me so what would the use of truth serum be?!

20. Favorite drinking partner?
Awww recently Jess, but overall i like drinking with all you g-town homies! :)

21. Favorite bar?
Ummmm im not suuurre yet *20*

22. Have you ever completely blacked out?

23. Have you ever puked from drinking?
Ewwwwww everytime i drink. No buenoooo.

24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'?
Not yet! *crosses fingers*

25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated?
I sure can... well for the most part...

26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight?
SLOL. YES!!! Hahahaaaaa...wow

27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know?
Ummmm im not gonna say that's meeaaaan

28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk?
I dunnno all my friends are pretty slooty drunk or nottt soooo, ill get back to you.

29. Do you have a drunken nickname?
VERB slollll. Wow, from a night of watching The White Rapper Show while drinking.

30. Have you received a 'booty call'
Nope! :)

31. Funniest drunken scene in a movie
Ummm i dunno i dont recall any....

32. Favorite song about drinking?
Whiskey Lullaby, b-e-a-utiful!!!!

33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know?
At first but then i remembered !

34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you?
Just in the last month, this old man hit on me at fucking TACO BELL! Skeeezy!

35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'?
Definitely Public Safety lol

.....WHERES 36?

37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"?
No, not really

38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks?
Twice :) It feels good.

39. Have you ever drank too much on a date?

40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink?
not really slol

41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane?
no wayyyy

42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day?
kinda, dayish

43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind?

44. What's your favorite drinking game?
Doo Doo Run...Fuck slol. It's like Doo Doo Run Run but when you can't make a rhyme you take a shot!!! Slol!! i made it!!

45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk?
Not anything major, just random bruises.

46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk?
We broke the toilet.

47. Ever been drunk at a concert?

48. Is this survey getting too long?
No its kinda nice

49. Are you ready for the last question?
Bring it!

50. Why do you drink?
Sometimes it's nice to just get away from the stresses of everyday life. It lets you relax and just have a good time! And for me it is a safer alternative to marijuana.
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Boo [22 Jan 2007|05:36pm]
:( i messed up.

So i walk into the cafe and see Harry, he looked grumpy. He was waiting for cheese ravioli and i just wanted some rice pilaf and chicken. So we made small talk and then i went to look for a table while he waited. I didn't see anyone that i would possibly sit with but then i saw Candace and Alexis, my emo buddies. Now Harry doesnt talk to them but they had already seen me and waved me over. I wanted to sit at an empty table and wait for Harry, but then the Emos would have been upset with me. So i go and sit with them. Harry gets his ravioli and walks out into the cafe, looks around and then sits at a table by himself :(. I ate really fast so i could just leave. As i walked by on my way out he mumbled something i couldnt understand but he looked sad... :( I should have waited for him, the Emos table was already like almost full they wouldnt have missed me that much. Oh well, i cant please everyone, but if i had to choose between the emos and Harry, i could...easily
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Between what i know i need and what i truly want... [10 Jan 2007|07:43pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Im alone, i mean i always have friends and family, but i want someone else you know? Someone i can fall asleep with listening to romantical music. But at the same time i know it would totally throw me off track with school and my future. I'm not emotionally strong enough to juggle a relationship and school and work. I know many of you can, but i know i can't. It's just hard. In class we were defining success. And i found that my idea of success is someone with money, someone with power. I dunno i just feel myself withdrawing from the people i love and the sad thing is i think it might be whats best for me. I think that soon i may turn my desire to be with someone into my drive to be successful. Don't think im not happy. I am. Im also afraid.

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Survey stolen from Theresia who stole it from Amanda who stole it from herself from a year ago... [19 Dec 2006|06:20pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Smoked marijuana, kissed a boy, lived in a dorm, had a roomate, did silk painting, did silk screening, did batik, kept a fashion sketch book...

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did not keep my resolution... if i remember it correctly.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Ummm...not that i recall...

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Aunt Judy...not really close but family...

5. What countries did you visit?
None unfortunatly.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
A best friend. I have many best friends but i want one who im closest too and who's closest to me...maybe i should just get a boyfriend... really either would be nice!

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 9th 2006: i moved into the dorms, October 31st 2006: Halloween in Santa Barbara

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Actually finishing a term of college with good grades! :)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Ummm credit card debt??

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Mac! :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My moms! Gooo Barbara! Miss Independent! :)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Shawna's and Kelly's

14. Where did most of your money go?
In the words of Destiny's Child "Bills, Bills, Bills"

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to a new school, making new friends, boys :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
MUCH happier!

ii. thinner or fatter?
Around the same, a little thinner in the thighs and ass :(

iii. richer or poorer?

money wise im poorer but emotionally richer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
explored my new surrounding and made more friends!

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sleeping! which i really didnt do much of but it seems like such a waste!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With the WHOLE family! :) I plan on getting plastered lol

21. How will you be spending New Years'?
Hopefully with my best friends and once again i plan on getting plastered!

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Yes. With life.

23. How many one-night stands?
;) haha ya right!

24. What was your favorite TV program?
DHDub, for awhile, Project Runway, while it was on, and Drawn Together, current fav!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
What an awful question. Noo but i am pretty upset with a few people.

26. What was the best book you read?
"Go Ask Alice"

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

28. What did you want and get?
Good Grades!

29. What did you want and not get?
A new car

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Dreamgirls without a doubt

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Ummm i honestly can't remember, i think i went to tigerheat slol what a fag. I was twenty.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Money, really thats it...

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

34. What kept you sane?
Knowing that if i died tomorrow i would have few regrets.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mmmmm i dunno i guesss....

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
none really i have my opinion but it takes someone else to stir me...

37. Who did you miss?

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I couldn't name one here are three: Breanne Patterson, Kennebec Hardy, and Shamaila Younus (despite everything she is a reallly good person.)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
I reallllly like Theresia's so i had to leave it on here

If you can't love yourself, you might as well be dead. You can't shake anyones hand, if you can't even shake your own.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"I was so lost back then,
But with a little help from my friends,
I found the light in the tunnel at the end.
-Now i just smile, i go ahead and smile."
Lily Allen

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SLOL [10 Dec 2006|11:01pm]
I was really bored and remembered that i have two lj accounts!! Remember my old one johnjohnpayton! Haha! Well, i started reading through some of my entries and they are sooooooo pathetic and funny!! Not that my new ones are much better. Wow. Slol. I love how GAY i was even back when i was in love with Andrea. And then i stumbled across this entry

"Today was a boring day until i got home! Someone broke into our car last night and stole everything! So exciting! I've never ever had anything stolen! What made it even more exciting is i know who did it!!!! You see i was leaving this morning and this truck full of mexicans was parked outside with their emergency lights on and i was like sad poor mexicans they probably can't even afford to buy a new gardener truck what are they going to do? Then i come home and our car is broken into and the battery and some jack thing are missing!!!! So they broke into our car in order to fix theirs! It's so exciting! And what makes it even better is that Donna had left her PS2 in the car with like a shitload of games and now its gone!!!!! MUAUAUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I love it when Donna is miserable!!!!!!"

This entry was sooooo terrible, i cant believe how racist and just downright mean it is! Oh wow. :/ my bad.
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The Year of the Shudda [10 Dec 2006|07:39pm]
So i've realized that 07 is going to be MY year. For real. I just know everything is gonna start coming up shuddas!! Im super excited! Yay for me!!!
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WOW! [09 Dec 2006|06:21pm]
So today Shamaila and I got together to work on a project, we met at 4:30. Her mom dropped her off. We worked until 6:10 and she asked the same thing over and over again : / She was like what what's a hasty generalization, whats a slippery slope, oh i thought that was a snowy mountain. Can you explain to me what a hasty generalization is, what is a hasty generalization. Wait can this be a hasty generaliation. NOOOOO!!!!!!! Argh! And then when we were finished i walked her to her car. Her mom was in the same parking space she was when she arrived... in fact she stayed the entire time. WTF?! Who does that. Weird...... anywhoo. i have to go to work now until midnight. Booooo. She you allllll later!!!!
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